I am so many parts. Especially this past week, I have struggled with all of my parts. ALl of my roles. Being a daughter, a mother, a sister, a friend, a student (to be!), a performer, a singer, a guitarist (in progress!)... I was tugged in so many different directions that I kind of lost myself. On some levels that was good because I was on auto-pilot- answering questions, asking questions, sleeping, eating, helping, doing... It kept me from thinking of all the horrible things that my wonderful distracted mind was able to keep at bay.
On the other hand, there were times I was just completely stymied. I had no idea where I should turn, what I should do, who my priority should be, when I should let go, how I should act... I felt selfish and self-less at the same time. I was proud of the juggling and then immediately aggravated that I wasn't able to please everyone.
But then I would crawl into bed, drag my wretchedly exhaustipated body into that heavenly soft cool sheet world and curl every inch of me around the man who is my counterpart, my best friend and staunchiest advocate- always. And all was well with my world. Because no matter how many roles I played, no matter how many different directions I was being pulled in, no matter how much I questioned or worried or wondered...at the end of the day, I was warmed by the man who sums up all those parts and keeps me safe in his heart. Whole-ly loved. Whole-ly me. Whole.