Friday, May 13, 2011

5 Minute Friday: Deep Breath




Go:

I want me a burning bush. Doesn't everyone? I could never deny my God if He deigned to speak to me from a pyre of leaves and branches, lest the fire leap out and devour me whole. I wouldn't argue with Him or try to change His mind or tell Him that He was dead wrong. 

Unfortunately, the whole burning bush thing is a little bit more uncommon these days. 

And so, I have to figure things out all by myself. Well, not completely. The yearning of my soul is apparently leading me in ways I didn't even recognize at first.  I also have some really phenomenal folks in my life that I seem to have collected unwittingly, but no less strategically, who affirm the stirrings of my heart and unpackage the things that are tormenting me. 

And sometimes :::deep breath::: I've got nothing. The hair on my arms doesn't move an inch, I play phone tag to no avail and all I have... is me... and Him. 

And I have to learn to be more still. And I have to listen closer to what is unsaid. And I have to trust the seemingly RIDICULOUS spiritual urgings. And I have to move somewhere in order to get anywhere.

Leaning not on my own understanding.

Burning bush, anyone?

STOP.

Thanking my beautiful friend & fellow wordsmith, Sam, for another great blog idea.
Every Friday, a new prompt & intentional 5 minute freewrite. 
Awesomeness? I think so!


Tuesday, May 10, 2011

MayDayBook :)

Outside my window... a hazy, overcast day. There was a really cool sun this morning that I wish I had a good enough camera to capture. It was a beautiful subdued orange-red under a full cloud veil framed by pine trees.
I am thinking... about everything I have to do, the frog that may or not be hiding in my laundry room, windows and doors for God to open and close, music, the many folks who are trying to help me figure out me (lol) and the throbbing feeling in my fingertips from practicing guitar :)
I am hearing... more than anyone thinks I am hearing, which is still less than I would like to hear. I want me a burning bush that I would never dare to disobey but I know my God speaks volumes to me in the silences that are so hard for me. And literally, one of my favorite songs (and so appropriate right now) just came on the radio- "Live Like You Were Dying" by Tim McGraw.
I am thankful for... the awesome, overwhelming feeling of electricity surrounding me when I don't think I'm praying and the warm sensation in my chest that hums the phrase "consuming fire".
I am praying for... .the courage to keep moving, the faith to change direction and the discernment that goes along with both.
Toward a healthier me.... Went to the doctor, spent the afternoon having some tests done, a referral to a specialist next week and we'll go from there. Also, more consistent strength training, drinking more water and eating more intentionally. Having breakfast every morning is tough for me :~P
Inspiring me this week... the Holy Spirit. It is both ridiculous and redeeming to feel like I am really being led somewhere, however unexpected :)
From the kitchen... Oddly enough, I'm unprepared. I have been cooking for 7 for the past 3 weeks but after a great start last night cooking for 9 again with the meatloaf & mashed potatoes that everyone devours, I am stymied for the rest of the week.
I am wearing... my orange Third Day "Property of Gomer" t-shirt and (surprise!) black yoga shorts. 
I am creating... me- really recreating me, who I want to be when I grow up, and trying not to feel selfish about it. It works sometimes :) but this seems too worth it to give up on me again.
I am going... SOMEWHERE. Can't sit on the sidelines any longer.
I am reading... The Way to Heaven by Steven Harper and Listening to God in Times of Choice by Gordon Smith. Change of Heart will have to wait a little longer :)
Toward a lifelong education... a-HA! I am trying to figure out a way to go back to school and get my BS in Music Ministry :) Exciting and scary! Also, practicing my guitar to get ready to lead music with one of my favorite fellow musicians on a retreat this fall. And sangin' :)
On keeping home... Spent TWO days cleaning the girls' room, put up blinds in the living room, curtains in the bedroom and painted the laundry room. Still organizing those craft shelves. A work in progress- a great little music corner in our bedroom- guitars on the walls, keyboard under the window,  music stand by my cozy chair and my biggest fan on his netbook in our bed. Pure bliss, this :)
One of my favorite things... Moosen & monkeys. A snapshot of life with both: Church- complete with "Swagger Wagon" video (!), an unexpected long nap, Steak & Shake and bowling for Mother's Day. I love my family :)
A verse for this week:
"Be still and know that I am God."
 ~ Psalm 46:10                                                                                  
A few plans for the rest of the week:  Jessi's senior recital, rehearsing for the Central Florida Community Choir's first concert next week, practicing guitar, finally watching Megamind with the kiddos and Date Night!
Here is a picture for thought I am sharing... couldn't do one this time- we didn't get a group shot! :)