Thursday, March 8, 2012

Five Minute Friday: Empty

GO:

It's amazing to me that a woman like me could feel so full and so empty at the same time. I am so full of desire but so empty of results. I feel like I'm full of the abstract and surrounded by the echo of what wants to be tangible but isn't. Yet.

I have so many thoughts and dreams, still, at my age. You would think I would be winding down and yet, no, I am still dreaming. I don't know if I'm just a dreamer, someone who spins beautiful webs in the upper corners of my heart but doesn't know how to expose them to the world. I don't want to just dream. I want to do. I want to be. I long to fill my life up and evict the emptiness.

My life is so full. I am so busy. But the busy-ness doesn't equal full-ness. And the emptiness yawns and brings me back in.

I want to be so full of Christ that I can't help, just by my life, but to have Him pour out of me into the world and into everyone I meet, especially those I have such impact on- and those I cherish the most. 

I'm so busy. And so tired. And so full. So why do I sometimes feel so depleted? So utterly spent. Not empty, as without hope, but empty, as a cavern full of possibilities yet unrealized...

STOP.


6 comments:

  1. I understand that feeling empty . . . so full and busy, yet being emptied. I love the picture of your table . . . we could "almost" fit around that! :)

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  2. I think you just beautifully captured how most women . . . people in general? feel. You are not just a dreamer. God created you to do both. Dream and do. Just wait for Him, He will combine the two...

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  3. These inner thoughts are ones I deal with daily... and the dreams not yet realized... I understand well... it seems I spend most of my days trying to get DONE with it is I have to do, so I can get to the things I want to do, relating to dreams.. but I have to remember that this life I live, I live surrendered to Him and I want to live in the present moment, and not miss the gifts I have before me, while looking out for something better... Only by grace...

    Sorry for my ramblings... Blessings to you...

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  4. "...the busy-ness doesn't equal full-ness." Oh, this is so true. I tried for so long to fill my emptiness with busyness. And I can relate to still dreaming dreams. Keep dreaming, friend.

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  5. Visiting from the 5 Minute Friday link up. I know of this busyness. I have children much in the same age range - 8, 11, 17 and 20. My eldest to be married in June. Yes, I am full, but often feel depleted and spent as you mentioned. I love how you see this emptiness as possibilities not yet realized. Thank you for this perspective.

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  6. You guys are all so kind and encouraging. So blessed to be on this journey with so many like-minded sisters in Christ :)

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